Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Abuse Commentary


by M. J. Joachim

Earlier today, I published a post about abuse, which has since been deleted for a variety of reasons, mainly because it was based on a question asked by someone else, who sent an email asking the question be removed. Even without the question, however, some of my comments hold true, and for this reason, I am publishing this post, to address the issue of abuse, by sharing an edited version of those comments.

Please join in this important discussion, to raise awareness on the issue of abuse and promote an end to its vicious cycle. Thank you.

Edited Commentary

One of the biggest problems with abuse is that too many people misunderstand it. Abuse is wrong; nothing in me can do anything other than to blame the abuser for their behavior, while empowering the abused to remove themselves from the situation and do their best to heal from whatever trauma they were subjected to.

I’m certain there are plenty of decent men out there who wouldn't dream of attacking a woman. These men should be held in highest regard, for treating women with the respect and dignity they deserve.

Young kids will do what they will do. Blame it on being teenagers - they test the waters, rebel against their parental units and society in general and hopefully learn to grow up at some point along the way. Regardless of the reasons, punk boys who abuse na├»ve girls should be held accountable for their actions, without ever placing blame on the girls who get abused by them.

Mothers of these young boys and girls are not responsible for the actions of their children. Even if they have been abused themselves, they cannot be held accountable for the often repetitious cycle of abuse, which seems inevitably to pass on from one generation to the next.

Holding up the past and casting stones as if a mother should somehow be able to hold a magic wand to protect her daughter from conniving, misleading men who seek to dominate and control is clearly inappropriate. That mother is no more responsible for the crimes against her daughter than her daughter is. 

Put the blame squarely where it belongs – on the perpetrator of the abuse, not the victim of his bullying. Girls sometimes make poor choices with regards to their boyfriends, mates and husbands. This does not and should never excuse the behavior of the abuser, or be a reason to cast blame on the abused!

Thank you for visiting Effectively Human. Abuse is an important issue that deserves to be properly addressed here. Please share your thoughts on this discussion and promote healthy relationships and awareness as much as you can throughout the world.

All people deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. My mind wanders to Mother Teresa’s actions during her lifetime…less words, more action. With that thought in mind, whatever you can do…

M. J.

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