Friday, October 9, 2015

Betrayal and Refusal to Love

by M. J. Joachim


The act of betrayal almost always begins as a refusal to love, in the interest of self indulgence. Withholding one’s love from another is tantamount to telling them they aren’t worthy of you, and therefore need to improve themselves to deserve something you refuse to give. It is a judgment call that classifies others as less than ourselves.

Betrayal grows as it works its ill-fated magic. What begins as a withholding of love often turns into acts of self righteousness and arrogance, leading to gossip and other forms of betrayal. A spouse refuses to love his partner, ultimately leading to an affair. A mother refuses to love her child, causing the child to feel rejected and unworthy throughout his life. A father refuses to provide basic care for his child, causing his ex-wife and child to feel abandoned. A teacher breaks physical boundaries with his student, a priest ignores the need of a soul, a boss acts like a tyrant etc. All of these types of betrayal begin with a refusal to love, and end with an act much more than that initial refusal, an act that causes chaos in our society, because so many people need to be healed in its wake.

Societal betrayal begins with turning a blind eye to those in need. Its ultimate curse is bigotry, hatred, denial and refusal to treat others with compassion and respect. The mentally ill need assistance, not reprimand. Victims need understanding, assurance and justice. Sick people need patience, care and empathy.

Then there are those practicing reverse societal betrayal. These are the people on food stamps when they are perfectly capable of being employed. They are the people associated with supreme race groups, religious fanatics and prophets of doom. Tax evaders and anyone who is capable and refuses to participate in society, while reaping rewards for doing nothing is in fact practicing reverse betrayal on the rest of society, because he feels so entitled that he sponges of the rest of those working to meet his needs and wants.

Betrayal happens all the time. The government betrays citizens. Citizens break the rules. Employers cut corners. Employees play all sorts of games to get a few extra pennies for their hard work. Family members betray each other in numerous ways, though each is different according to individual family dynamics.

Yet it all starts with the same thing, a refusal to love from a hardening heart. Christ taught us differently. He taught us to have faith and trust God. He taught us to love no matter what, and pray without ceasing. It’s a tall order, but in a world filled with betrayal, it’s often the only thing capable of keeping us sane.

God bless you,

M. J.

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